Cursed Love
by The-Inedible-Croissant
Summary: Sasuke must escape from Naruto who has been put under a curse. Will he be able to get through to his friend or will the wicked enchantment ultimately prevail?


Sasuke ran down the dark alleyway hell bent on escape. Orochimaru had placed a curse on Naruto, tricking him with a tainted bagel; so buttery, so delicious, yet in the end, so sinful. The yellow-haired boy was now chasing him with a wild look in his eyes that screamed he wanted to kill some bitch.

Sasuke jumped behind a trashcan, hoping the place would be a sufficient hiding spot to lose the crazed ninja. He had to think of a way to snap him out of it.

He jumped at a sudden crunch of metal from within the shadows of the alley. In the stillness of the night, the sound of the popcan being crushed underfoot sounded louder than an elephant skydiving from an airplane into a basin of ketchup below.

He spun around at the sound just in time to see a pair of red eyes staring back at him from the shadows, red like the fiery depths of hell and just as evil as the devil himself. He immediately thought of tomatoes; so many tomatoes. He hated tomatoes.

At first Sasuke was unsure if it really was his friend staring back at him or not, but he could recognize those stupid yellow spikes of hair anywhere.

He called out to his friend, "Naruto, are you in there?" But Naruto only smirked menacingly and then he knew that the fox had possessed him.

A teasing growl escaped the grapefruit-flavored ninja's mouth, the sound remarkably similar to the growl of an angry jaguar chasing down a flaming bison that was about to burst into an airport bathroom. Sasuke couldn't help but inwardly monologue to himself about the apparent success of Naruto's improv classes as the possessed ninja quickly pinned him against the wall.

He mildly grunted in pain as his back smashed against the wall like a runaway car smashing into a cow crossing the street, only with less guts and entrails flying everywhere.

Naruto grinned like a jack-o-lantern kept far past Halloween into late November that had since grown soft and moldy. "Huahuaha, Sasuke? More like Sas-_uke_!" The entranced ninjabro ripped Sasuke's clothes off with his mouth like a moderately obese man tearing into a burnt turkey on Christmas morning, only not getting shreds of turkey, but shreds of pants everywhere.

Sasuke stood there, stunned at what had just happened, and tried to push away his attacker but to no avail. It was an absolutely hopeless struggle, just like trying to push away a herd of pregnant rhinos sinking in a tar pit that were all simultaneously glued together at the face.

It all happened so fast, but it was like slow motion to Sasuke. He could almost hear the crappy royalty-free music playing in the background. Then the fox-ninja-boy pulled out his hot, throbbing kunai of sex that was pulsating with pure sexual energy. He thrust his fleshy rod of consummation right into Sasuke's tight bulls-eye and Sasuke hissed like a snake being stabbed with a euphemism.

As Naruto sheathed his stout penile obelisk made of genitals up and around the plumbing of Sasuke, Naruto made a horrific sound as if he were trying to cough up his lung through a harmonica.

"Oh no." Sasuke said monotonously as the cacophony of pleasure intensified, not really caring about his current situation. His ninjaboner was like _sup bro_ as it appeared from the southernly Uchiha Plains of Pubes, wanting to make itself known.

"No. Down. This is no place for you." he warned his ninjaboner as the cursed Naruto was still furiously tappin' dat ass.

But his ninjaboner was like _naw son_ in defiance, and decided to instead vomit up its contents in disgust just as Naruto's did.

As they both released at the same time, their white salty surprise blasted out like a geyser, spraying high into the air for all to marvel at in the night sky. The flow became a torrent, and they were soon both drowning in their own pool of ninjuices. The sticky white liquid was suddenly everywhere, like a wash of milk escaping from a punctured tanker that had overturned on the roadside, pierced by a thousand angry ninja cats roaring to the heavens.

The mass flood of gooey man yolk filled the streets to the brim. Houses were levelled; sewers were overflowed; lives were swallowed up. The entire ninja village was hastily buried beneath the rushing cascade of tepid ninja fluid and washed away, leaving nary a trace.

Miles away, atop a lonely building that scraped the sky, stood Orochimaru, watching the distant marvel unfold and chuckling to himself as his plan finally came to fruition.

First this village, and then the world.

It was only a matter of time now…


End file.
